That's not to say a person should use humor to embarrass or humiliate a workplace bully, at least in front of an audience loyal to the attacker. The results may be very unpleasant. When used correctly and at the right time humor will confuse bullies and stop them in their tracks, because it's the last thing they expect to hear. Responding with anger is the worst possible tactic, and doing nothing isn't always the best idea, either. In those cases, bullies could escalate their destructive campaigns. A good approach is to act mildly amused and project light-hearted confidence, things that bullies don't understand because they're too busy pounding their victims into submission. Here are ways to use humor when faced with a bully.
Work on Snappy Comebacks
These shouldn't be used indiscriminately because defusing a bully is a skill. If an employee can practice and master witty retorts to a bully's mean-spirited comments, other co-workers will begin to lend their support to the victim. This will be more effective when there's an audience, which is when bullies like to attack because they want to give everyone else a sense of just how much power they have. In fact, deep down they don't have much power at all but bullies want to make it look like they do. To upset their targets bullies often choose to focus on undeniable aspects of a victim's physical appearance, such as when a person wears glasses. When a bully is teasing the owner about them, he or she can answer with this quip:
- All the better to see you with.
Laugh at Yourself
If you can do this you'll show confidence. It's a great weapon to have when confronted with a bully at work. Why is this the case? Being pushed around at work is an unfortunate situation, and the bully isn't likely to be 'cured.' Human resources departments rarely intervene unless there is a physical confrontation. Instead, they'll suggest ignoring the behavior or 'working it out' with a bully. Indifference on the part of management, unfortunately, will mean a bully has no reason to cease and desist.
Victims can quit, endure or fight. The first option would put an end to the problem, but would only be advisable if there's another job to go to. The second choice is guaranteed to encourage a bully, since there's nothing that stands in his or her way. The third choice is least effective for obvious reasons. Meeting aggression with aggression never works. In this case the advice, 'If you can't beat them, join them' is sorely misplaced. What can be done? The answer is to outwit a bully without stooping to his or her level or suffering in silence.
Don't Play a Bully's Games
Never respond with an emotional outburst. Otherwise, the bully wins. If you willingly step into a bully's web of intimidation and negativity, the bully wins. The goal of using humor isn't to elicit laughter from a bully or anyone else, it's to retain your dignity and ultimately, your sanity. There are more important things to do at work than fight with someone who has zero empathy.
Arguing, getting upset and attempting to iron things out can be interpreted as challenges by workplace bullies. Does having a rational conversation with an irrational person sound reasonable? Humor will be an easy strategy for some people, but even if it isn't it's possible to turn the tables on a bully by making a joke. Enlist the assistance of sympathetic colleagues. There is greater strength in numbers.
Reference:
- Bullies: From the Playground to the Boardroom by Jane Middleton-Moz, Mary Lee Zawadski, HCI, 2002
Scott Hayden - Since joining Suite101 in early 2007, I've contributed articles about travel, history and health. My speciality is writing about workplace ...
